Top jokes of the year 2016

Discussion in 'Off Topic Archive' started by Danger, Oct 1, 2016.

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  1. Danger

    Danger Active Member

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    Hello everyone on MT, I am back to show you all some top jokes that seem funny or great idea. Note that these jokes might have bad words. Someone of the jokes is actually meant to be for grown ups. Note that I made the jokes in sections. Thank you and enjoy the jokes of 2016


    Yo Mama Jokes
    Yo mama so hairy when she moans she sounds like Chewbacca. Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. Yo mama so hairy, when she yawns, she sounds like Chewbacca. Yo mama so hairy, she's a stunt double for Chewbacca and her baby daughter played the leader of the Ewoks (no makeup needed). Yo mama so hairy that when she walked across the farm the farmer said "OH NO I GOT A WILD GOAT". Your mama so hairy that when she walked to Six Flags the owner said,"Sorry....No bears allowed. Yo mama so nasty and smells so bad, she was entered in the hunger games and won within 30 seconds. Yo mamma so gassy when the plane ran out of fuel they used her as a back up.Yo mama is so nasty, that the military weaponized her farts as weapons.


    Holiday Jokes
    What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!".Why couldn't the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie. Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: At the casketeria.Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where's popcorn?. Q: How do you scare a divorced dad? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!.Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up. Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays. Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? A: Because people kept toasting him!. Q: How does Moby **** celebrate his birthday? A: He has a whale of a party!.What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!. Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws! Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up". What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? A: 14 carrot gold.Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!" What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!. When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.Q: Why is a computer so smart? A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.Q: Why don't mothers wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove. Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web. Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!.




    Pick Up Line Jokes.
    I'm trash could you take me out?. "That shirt is becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too." What's a nice guy like you doing with a body like that?.If I was in the army, I would blow you away.Do you eat tacos? (yes, why?) Because my Taco Bell is open.I'll be your drum...you can beat me all night long!. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!. I'm not a photographer.....but I can picture us together. Good thing I Brought a map, because I just got Lost in your Eyes. Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house. Excuse me, I've lost my phone number - dya think I could have yours. If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.


    Political Jokes
    What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens? Undocumented democrats.What's the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.Q: What do you call an honest man in the Oval Office? A: Lost. Q: Why can't John Kerry tell a joke? A: Because all the botox keeps him from smiling!.Q: What's the difference between a car and a politician. A: You get to test-drive a car. Q: What's worse than Bill Clinton calling you a womanizer? A: Marc Foley calling you a pervert!

     
  2. Angel

    Angel Expert Member

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    knock knock.
     
  3. Logic

    Logic Forum Enthusiast

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    good jokes u got here
     
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  4. Flossie

    Flossie Expert Member

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    Nsfw
     
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  5. west

    west Forum Enthusiast

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    Why so many Chewbaccas : (
     
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  6. Espresso

    Espresso Expert Member

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    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Daniel

    Daniel Expert Member

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    Knock knock
    Who's there
    Proper formatting and grammar
    Sorry too busy attention seeking
     
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  8. NeitherDoI_

    NeitherDoI_ Member

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    Not enough nutshack
     
  9. Lesbean

    Lesbean Member

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    I heard a pretty funny chocolate joke.




    so i snickered.
     
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  10. Drooly

    Drooly Forum Enthusiast

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    You should be a stand-up comedian
     
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  11. Kyleep

    Kyleep Retired Moderator

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    Thread locked for failure to adhere to forum rules and responsibilities.
    If you disagree to this action, please report this post, and a moderator or administrator will reconsider it.

    Kind regards,
    The Staff
     
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